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“Black ash from the foundry,
Hangs like a hood,
But the air is perfumed,
By the burning firewood,
The seeds are bursting,
The spring is seeping,
Lay down beside me.
Love ain’t for keeping.
Lay down beside me.
Love ain’t for keeping.


The Who
Love Ain’t For Keeping

Sometimes, life just has a way of becoming somewhat maudlin, doesn’t it? I don’t know why. I can’t explain why. It just does.

I was running some rather routine errands today and just started noticing the surroundings of the world that I inhabit. It’s just the decay of it all. There is no Nirvana here. You could be the richest guy in the world and I’m pretty sure you would be subject to the decay every now and again, ya know?

I just pulled out my phone and started taking pictures of it all. Anything unusual that just caught my eye as it played across my field of vision was snapped. I didn’t care who was in the picture or even if they wanted me to take their picture or not. I was just “freezing” the moment, that’s all.

I am also not in any way a good photographer,….I just wanted to capture some of the maudlin-in-iss.

Just a real dry day all around. The type of day to turn The Who’s, “Love Ain’t for Keeping” on and just go out to some field somewhere with your best girl,…so you can forget about the fallen and decaying world that we currently reside in. That kind of day, man.

So here’s a few photos of what I took to underscore as to how banal this day really was,….I will offer commentary on a few.

So, come along on this day with me. It will be an exhaustively trite and boring ride, my friends. If at any time you want to get off, just click the red X at the top right of your computer screen. I won’t be offended.

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Hummus. A ton of it. Why? Who needs that much hummus in different flavors?

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Sunset on the highway. It was getting late…image

My glasses. All prescription. I need them to drive.

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Taken outside of my job. Sun going down.

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Sunset on the highway…

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A treat for the road…

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My handwriting is a tattoo on the shoulder of someone who is so very special to me….

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A picture is worth a thousand words. This one is for my boss to convince him I wasn’t wrong.

Anyway….

“We are in demand of the truth,
We’re children of the new world.
We wear all our scars we stand up,
and we fight 4 what we choose.
We are in demand of a name,
We are children of a free world.
We strip all our clothes,
expose our bones and lonely toes and lows….”

Nico Vega
Living Underground

Man.

A decidedly lean night tonight. The day before a holiday is always great because there’s nothin’ to do at work except let your mind meander to all sorts of strange places. It’s as if it turns into a Walter Mitty-type thing.

I don’t wonder about being someone else. Usually I just wonder about being someplace else. There’s plenty of other places to be. In fact, I would like to be in the year of 1979. The late seventies just had this thing about them that is really hard to explain,…and maybe it’s only to just me, considering my age and demographic and experience and all. Just the whole ball of dysfunction of the rat.

The early seventies were pretty sinister…..personally speaking, of course….

But be that as it may,….that’s not what this post is about, so rest easy in the fact that I am not going to psychoanalyze myself in front of the entire internet.

No. What this is about is on how much we have truly changed in the past 35 years. We. The collective we. The all-encompassing we.

For instance, I tried to think of sentences that would never be uttered, under any circumstances, or in any possible combination, in the year of 1979. It should be said that they are also blanket statements of today that are evoked without the batting of an eye. Here’s a short list:

1. “My Android tablet needs virus protection. I should probably get some for my phone, too.”

2. “This mouse doesn’t work.”

3. “My Ipod has 60 gigs of memory.”

4. “Send it to Cloud and just download it later.”

5. “He just changed that by Executive Order?”

6. “My car just failed the E-check. They said the computer was cleared.”

7. “Do you have your CVS card that I can scan?”

8. “Solar stakes for a buck? I’ll take ten! Also, do me a favor and grab some sun-dried tomatoes and balsamic, please.”

9. “Screw it. Let’s just stay home and watch Internet porn on the Plasma.”

10. “Just put it on a thumb drive.”

See? Kinda creepy terms we have come up with, aren’t they?

Now, let’s look at sentences that were said in 1979 which are still said today, shall we?

1. “Charlie Manson is still alive? Are you kidding me?”

2. “Isn’t Mickey Rooney dead? I thought he was. I thought he died ten years ago, man.”

3. “That pothole is big enough to eat my entire car.”

4. “You’re not gonna really wear blue and brown, are you?”

5. (When driving through a bad neighborhood) “Roll ‘em up”.

6. “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald is really a killer tune, man.”

7. “Sorry,….I’m broke.”

8. “I ain’t payin’ that much for a loaf of bread and a bag of sugar.”

9. “Vinyl is the best form of listening to musical recordings. It will never be surpassed by anything else that comes down the pike.”

10. “The French Connection is the best movie ever made.”

See? there you have it. Some things change and some things don’t. We live in a world that is constantly birthing itself,…over and over again. We get to that point where we are stretched over the over-lap and that is what truly ages us, my friends.

It’s not time that ages us. It’s the over-lap of society. Our bodies just can’t keep up anymore with all the technological advances that are thrust into our entire sphere of being…therefore, we age. We grow tired…and then we die.

Let’s face it. We got the Star Trek Communicators we were promised,…but we use them while driving through the street potholes that have remained since the dark ages.

Simpler times forebode simpler minds who excel in their attention to simpler genius.

With all this technology, we remain the same,….just with the gadgets, that’s all.

So,….now,….I will post these words via my bluetooth keyboard via my Ipad and post these words to the internet…..so some chick in The Hague can read them and offer critical commentary on them,….in which I will read them on my phone, while in my car, as I dodge potholes,…..while listening to “The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald”.

Anyway,…

“Whip it!
Whip it good!”


Devo
Whip It

Here are the top ten things I learned this week:

10. After enduring years of a coffee vending machine at work that is broken down more often than not, the vending guy finally replaced it with a slick new one that dispenses not only coffee, but Butterfinger Cappuccino, Cappuccino, hot chocolate, tea and soup. After a week of being there, it is now broken down more often than not.

9. When someone steals your Romanburger out of the fridge at work, the guilt tends to compound,….so much so that a royal feast shall be bestowed upon the pilfered one,….in the form of baked ham, green beans, potato and cheese pierogis, shrimp stir-fry and banana/pineapple/graham cracker-crust cool-whip cake. (Yeah, Baby….)

8.It is always,….ALWAYS,….at the least opportune moment when your gas gauge dings and the red light comes on. Always. It is also always,….ALWAYS,….at the least opportune moment when you tell the pump that you want a receipt,….and the pump tells you to go see the attendant for the receipt……ALWAYS.

7. Roger Daltrey once lamented in song, “11 hours in the tin pan, God, there’s got to be another way!!”……I just spent 12 hours working a furnace and I ain’t whinin’ like a “leettle guuurrrrllll”. That’s golden time, my friend. Take it or leave it,….but don’t cry about it. Stand up and act like a man,….cripes, almighty. (Ya know,….if you were a gas, you would be “Ineeeerrrrt”. Baby)

6. Dennis Wilson was more talented than Carl or Brian Wilson. Don’t believe me? Dig this:

5. If you dye your grey hair and beard a dark brown for say, a year, it will really screw people up when you stop doing it cold turkey. They see you growing grayer by the day and it really screws them up. They then start looking at themselves a little more intently when they pass a mirror. Great hi-jinks.

4. Why is ham the traditional Easter dinner? It’s a pork product. Jesus was jewish. Is it because of the resurrection that everything is game now? Jews still don’t eat pork. Paul and Peter had that falling out about what could be eaten,….(I think that was in Acts) Just such an odd dish to celebrate the resurrection with, ain’t it?

3. After 46 years on the face of the planet, I really wish I was the fifth Beatle. I think it would be interesting, to say the least.

2. Fay Wray went bra-less in a scene in King Kong. I couldn’t believe it. 1933 and she’s without bra. That totally screwed me up, man. (It was when she was talking to the monkey on deck with Bruce Cabot. Don’t believe me? Check it out.)

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1.Fried eggs and chili make a good combination.

Anyway,…

“Well, I guess I should confess that I am starting to get old,
All the latest music fads all passed me by and left me cold,
All the kids are talking slang I won’t pretend to understand,
All my friends are getting married, mortgages and pension plans,
And it’s obvious my angry adolescent days are done,
And I’m happy and I’m settled in the person I’ve become,
But that doesn’t mean I’m settled up and sitting out the game,
Time may change a lot but some things may stay the same,….


Frank Turner
Photosynthesis

Ya know,..when you go to a resale shop, you kinda expect that the wares they sell will be in some sort of systematic order. When it’s not, it’s nothing more than a garage sale, isn’t it?

When the lighting is sub-par, it makes you feel like you’re bein’ cheated. I hate that crap.

Why is it that most of the furniture smells pretty moldy. You wanna sell me something? Make sure that it doesn’t smell bad, OK? It ain’t that hard. There’s this little thing called “Febreeze”. Spray it a few times a week. Is that that hard?

Ya know,….I really think the French Connection is the greatest movie ever made Why do I think that? Who cares? Do you care? I don’t freakin’ care. It’s just a damn good movie. What? Do I have to explain myself?

Good night.

Just so ticked off today.

Anyway,….

“…But our minds won’t really be blown,
Like the blow that’ll gitcha, when you get your picture,
On the cover of the Rollin’ Stone…”


Dr Hook
The Cover Of The Rolling Stone

I began my day today in my usual fashion. I rolled over and started looking at the news on my ipad.(That was after waking up and dreading the day ahead, of course.)

I began to hit the various news apps to see if anything was happening. Like the sky falling or somethin’ like that. I tripped over to Drudge and something caught my eye.

This:

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Elaine Benes on the cover of the Rolling Stone,…with just a hint of butt crack showing. I knew there was a reason this was on Drudge other than the butt-crack that was displayed. I was betting it wasn’t an outrage piece of her butt. No. There was going to be a deeper story than that. It was on Drudge, after all.

And I was right,…I was right.

It did have something to do with the cover. The story was about the fact that the Constitution on her back was signed by John Hancock.

Yes….Yes, indeed.

They screamed, “Dolts!!, How stupid are they over there? What were they thinking? Are they that stupid?”

The rage, of course, was well deserved since John Hancock never signed the Constitution. He signed the Declaration Of Independence. That’s where John Hancock’s John Hancock is, not on the Constitution.

Me, being who I am, sat back and sagely thought about John Hancock’s signature emblazoned willy-nilly upon Julia Louis-Dreyfus’s supple left kidney.

I can’t help but think there is a bigger picture with this picture.

Let me explain.

At some point, someone put the facsimile of the Constitution on to her back, right? Then, probably the same somebody went to the Declaration of Independence and removed the image of Hancock’s Hancock and then placed THAT facsimile upon her kidney.

So, as Drudge, The Blaze and Breitbart all scream and ridicule about Rolling Stone’s daftness, the genius lay in the fact that Rolling Stone knew all along that it wasn’t a mistake because the action had to be taken to actually marry the two separate facsimiles. You just know some Iago/lackey whispered into Count Jann Wenner’s ear and said, “John Hancock’s John Hancock wasn’t on the Constitution. It was on the Declaration Of Independence, my leege.”

To which he was waved away with extreme prejudice.

It was a conspiracy in the truest sense of the word. They knew what they were doin’, but retreated into plausible deniability. This was their statement in regards to the faux pas that transpired in the high towers of Rolling Stone:

‘The Declaration of the Independence is on the other side but we couldn’t fit in all the signatures,’ said Wenner Media Publicity Director Melissa Bruno said, the Daily News reported.

This was Julia’s response to the mistake via Twitter:

She tweeted: ”In my defense, ‘I was in a drunken stupor,’ #crackexcuse.”

How endearing, huh? They can laugh at themselves about such a stupid mistake,…that they knew they were making when they made it.

I guess my question is, what does this mean? This smacks of NWO conspiracy. An innocuous Rolling Stone cover that merges the two defining documents of this country onto a hot (but irrelevant) actresses’s back and near butt-crack for the sake of a joke.

It just makes it all dashed uncomfortable to ingest considering where this country is right now. It’s un-nerving, to say the least. In addition, the Constitution itself has gone through the ringer in the past few years. We all know this. This isn’t something that I’m making up as I go along.

Anyway,….

Long walks in the dark
Through woods grown behind the park,
I asked God who I’m supposed to be.
The stars smiled down on me,
God answered in silent reverie.
I said a prayer and fell asleep.


Priscilla Ahn
Dream

Here are the top ten things I learned this week:

10. For some reason, people want me to watch certain movies because they think “I’ll like it”. 9 times out of 10, I do not like them and I tell them so. They insist anyway. I watch the movie and then they want to talk about it. I do not like to talk about movies that I watch. It’s a “geek” conversation. Then they get mad and sulk off….and then come back two weeks later with another movie that, “You have to watch!!”

9. It’s nice to ignore a boss who is not your boss. The funny thing is, he never learns.

8. Small cucumbers taste more like cucumbers than regular cucumbers. Why is that?

7. Don’tcha think Gary Gilmore kinda ruined it for everyone that came after him?

6. “I Feel Fine” is probably the most over-played Beatles song ever.

5. A box of Girl Scout Cookies can be killed in one sitting with no problem.

4. When writing a blog post stark naked on your bed, it’s best not to talk about it in the post…..D’oh!!!

3. Cole Slaw on a hot dog doesn’t seem like a good idea,…but it really is.

2. If I could, I would live in Laurel Canyon just because of the name. Laurel Canyon just has a nice ring to it.

1. A big screen TV in a bedroom really does feel like a movie theater


“Took a drag from my last cigarette,
Took a drink from a glass of old wine,
I closed my eyes and I could make it real,
And feel it one more time,

Can you hear it, babe,
Can you hear it, babe,
From another time, from another place,
Do you remember it, babe,

And the radio played like a carnival tune,
As we lay in our bed in the other room,
When we gave it away,
For the sake of a dream in a penny arcade,
If you know what I mean,
If you know what I mean, babe…”


Neil Diamond
If You Know What I Mean

This song scrolled across the ol’ ipod tonight while I was doin’ paperwork in my office. As I writing numbers, the lyrics kinda strolled to the forefront of my sleep oppressed brain.

I listened to it once. I listened to it twice. I listened to it a third time. I came to the rapid and disheartened conclusion that I had no idea as to what the heck Neil was talkin’ about, man.

Things like this don’t cause me to lose sleep. They just kinda tick me off. I think that ol’ Neil made it so that we didn’t know what he was supposed to mean,….so he could feel smarter than the rest of us, of course.

That “Artist’s Heart”. The self-contrived b.s. that comes from people who want to be percieved as being relevant,….in spite of the desperate panic they harbor based in the fear of being just like the rest of us peons.

I’m watching the original King Kong on my new widescreen, plasma TV that I bought yesterday. Man,…Kong kicks some serious butt in this movie, but he sure know how to treat his woman right. He treats her better then some of the guys I know treat their women.

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Man, all those creatures on skull island want a piece of Ann Darrow. She is a total fox and all….but I would be like Bruce Cabot, I guess. Kong wasn’t right for her. Kong couldn’t hold a job. Would probably stop off at the bar too often.Always be late for family functions….

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Yeah. I said a whole lot here, didn’t I?

Anyway…..

“I was just 34 years old,
I was still wandering in a haze…”


Pete Townshend
Slit Skirts

Here are the top ten things I learned this week:

10. It dawned on me tonight that I had hid some cash into an album cover a few weeks ago. It hasn’t yet dawned on me as to which one it was.

9. The lady on Google Maps is just like a spouse sometimes. She knows everything, interrupts my music when she speaks, stops talking when I get a phone call and has the patience of Job when I take a wrong turn. If she would just laugh once in a while, I would just go ahead and marry my iphone.

8. I’ve recently overcome my abject avoidance of the “Canadian Tuxedo”. If it was good enough for Billy Jack and Beretta, then it’s good enough for me!

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7. If you really have to go the can at my place of employment, begging doesn’t help should you find all the stalls occupied. The only thing you will hear in response to your cries for mercy is,…..the slow turning of a newspaper.

6.There are three Beatles albums that don’t have the Beatle’s name on the front cover. Can you guess which ones? *(Answers at bottom of the post)*

5. People say we have hit rock bottom in this country with the ridiculous sanctions that Obama has just imposed on the 7 personal advisors to Putin. I say, not even close. You hit rock bottom when you’re a half-drunk, hungover butt-hag sittin’ in front of a plate of stale eggs with a half-dozen “Pall-Malls” crushed out in the yolks in a corner booth of a “Shoney’s”,….just off the turnpike outside of Gary, Indiana at 4am on a Wed morning. That’s rock bottom.

4. Two “Marley’s Mellow Moods” really mellow and level me out. (It’s green tea, btw,….)

3. My piano has really been the catch-all for bills and stuff. I should remedy to change that.

2. Spraying yourself with “BOD Really Ripped Abs” doesn’t substitute for a much needed shower.

1. I, literally, can sleep 16 hours a day. The question is, “Can I get paid for it?”

*Abbey Road, Revolver and Let It Be*

Anyway,…

“If some of ya’ll never been down South too much…
I’m gonna tell you a little bit about this, so that you’ll understand,
What I’m talking about,….”

Elvis
Polk Salad Annie

A few years ago, I had seen a cooking show in which Elvis’s cook demonstrated the making of Elvis’s favorite sandwich. This is the real deal. It’s been a staple in my house ever since. It is truly decadent.

Here are the ingredients you will need:

1 banana
4 teaspoons of peanut butter
brown sugar
butter
2 slices of Italian bread.

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Take the butter and butter up one side of each slice of bread.

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Place a generous amount of brown sugar on the buttered side of each slice of bread. Most of the brown sugar will adhere to the bread due to the adhesive nature of the butter.

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Place in pan with the buttered and brown sugared side down. Don’t worry if a bit of brown sugar falls off while flipping it. It will still be put to good use.

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Dissect banana. Should a small dog appear like what just happened here, just ignore him. He just had some kibble.

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Peel banana and place into small bowl. Continue to ignore the filthy little beggar with the sad eyes.

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Smash banana until it becomes almost like baby food. The banana will take on a wet-like consistency. This is to be desired. Continue to ignore the fat bastard to the right.

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Spread peanut butter on dry side of bread that is in pan. I like to use crunchy, but if you don’t like that, creamy works just as well. I would not use organic peanut butter however. I believe Elvis would disavow that in his sandwiches.

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Place smashed banana onto one side of the peanut-buttered bread, then top with a small amount of brown sugar. This will give a certain sweetness to the banana mixture.

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Place in pan and grill fry over medium heat,..like you would a grilled cheese. The brown sugar on the other side of the bread will begin to crystalize. This is to be desired for crunch effect.

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Flip together and grill the both sides of the sandwich. You will notice the brown sugar taking on a harder texture due to the heat. That’s what’s considered as being, “the good stuff”,…oh, yeah.

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Once the sandwich is grilled throughly on both sides, remove and place on a cutting board.

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Dissect the sandwich at the corners. The peanut butter/banana paste may spill out a bit due to the pressure of the knife. This is to be desired for presentation.

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Serve promptly with a garnishment of a dill pickle and a packet of natural cane turbinado sugar. An ice cold root-beer would be a good choice of a beverage to go with this meal.

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And that’s that!

Easy enough.

(Oh, alright, already!! Give him some! How can you turn that hungry face away? Geez. What a beggar! I hope he chokes on it!)

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Anyway,…

“So, I walk up on high,
And I step to the edge,
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself,
While the tears roll down,
‘Cause it’s the world I know,
It’s the world I know,….”


Collective Soul
The World I Know

Here are the top ten things I learned this week:

10. In spite of all my attempts to not like hummus, I finally had to surrender to the fact that I actually do. It reminds me of the the great sushi surrender of 2011.

9. If a friend starts pounding on my side door at noon and I haven’t had my first cup of coffee yet, he will get a salty reception,…without exception.

8. When a total fox of a doctor looks you in the eye and softly says, “We’re gonna be best friends for a while”,…(while placing her lovely hand softly on my shoulder)….it takes on a totally bogus hue when she follows that sentence with, “because that definitely is cancer.” It becomes even more bogus if you are sitting there completely naked,….like I was. Sheesh.

7. Why is a bottle of wine in the hands of a poor person considered pathetic, but in the hands of a rich person, it’s considered refined and urbane? Even if it is the exact same bottle of wine?

6.Revolving doors scare me ever since I saw the Godfather II.

5. Flying scares me ever since I started working in the Aero-Space field.

4. Clowns scare me ever since I saw that picture of John Wayne Gacy dressed up as a clown…with all that fucked up lip-stick.

3.I still remember where I was when I heard about 9/11. I was peeing. It was on the radio on the back of the toilet. I was wearing sweat pants that had a white stripe down the side and a black t-shirt to compliment it. I ate Apple Jacks that day. I had a small cup of coffee…..with cream and two sugars. I bought a Wendy’s Jr. cheeseburger deluxe on my way to work that day. I called my mom and told her not to go shopping that day. I told her to just watch TV,…or a movie. A movie like the Sound Of Music or something. I remember telling her to stick a movie into the VCR….not to watch TV. That there was nothing on TV. Turn on a movie. Make sure it’s a movie. No TV.

2. I got two meatball sandwiches from Subway today. The price was $5.75 a piece. They only charged me ten dollars. I guess I made a little “bread’ on that transaction. (pardon the pun)

1. A gun WILL shoot without a Yoke,…or Crane screw in it. My Stratocaster bears witness to this. (A little bit of character never hurt anyone,….or thing.) LOL

Anyway,….

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