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“…and you ain’t got to touch a man,
to make a man bleed,…”


Ian Hunter
Just Another Night

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Here are the top ten things I learned this week:

10. If I drink three Red-Bulls in quick succession, the world takes on a euphoric, taurine-fueled hue that will last for about three hours. After that comes the uncontrollable and emotional outbursts directed at people minding their own business.

9. In a snowstorm, when I go to start my car and turn the windshield wipers on, I have found that the passenger side will squirt the blue juice while the driver’s side will refrain from doing so.

8. I bought a bottle of syrup this week simply because it was called, “Blood Orange”.

7. If I drink three Red-Bulls in quick succession, I have found that I get the uncontrollable giggles for a while. This is bad….especially when the boss is talking to me and is trying to convey something of a serious nature.

7.v.1.1.1. I take in Peeks from rescues until they find their “Forever Home”. I learned that this one kinda grew on me, so I made a film of him:

6. Little Debbie Nutty Bars are the world’s most perfect food. It’s what we’ll be eating on our starships in the not too distant future. (Unless the talking apes become our masters before then.)

5. I have found that it’s really weird to drive down the road while looking at the screen of my dash cam for navigation purposes. It’s like it’s the ultimate middle-man who is gyppin’ you out of the big picture.

4. I have come to the stunning realization that the music of Paul Simon is total garbage. He really, really needs Garfunkel to be any good. It’s like meatloaf and gravy. Under no circumstances should they be consumed separate.

3. I had heard that Mickey Rooney was still alive this week. That, of course, begged the question: Why?

2. I have found that I open myself to ridicule from my co-workers if I order a sandwich that has avocado as the main ingredient. (This also applies to vegetable pizza.)

1. I had to answer a security question while banking online this week. It gave me a multiple choice question of an address that I lived at in my past. I got the question right,…and the year was 1984,…but my name was never on the lease nor did I get my mail delivered there.

Kinda makes you think, don’t it?

Anyway,…

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