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“So, I walk up on high,
And I step to the edge,
To see my world below.
And I laugh at myself,
While the tears roll down,
‘Cause it’s the world I know,
It’s the world I know,….”

Collective Soul
The World I Know

Here are the top ten things I learned this week:

10. In spite of all my attempts to not like hummus, I finally had to surrender to the fact that I actually do. It reminds me of the the great sushi surrender of 2011.

9. If a friend starts pounding on my side door at noon and I haven’t had my first cup of coffee yet, he will get a salty reception,…without exception.

8. When a total fox of a doctor looks you in the eye and softly says, “We’re gonna be best friends for a while”,…(while placing her lovely hand softly on my shoulder)….it takes on a totally bogus hue when she follows that sentence with, “because that definitely is cancer.” It becomes even more bogus if you are sitting there completely naked,….like I was. Sheesh.

7. Why is a bottle of wine in the hands of a poor person considered pathetic, but in the hands of a rich person, it’s considered refined and urbane? Even if it is the exact same bottle of wine?

6.Revolving doors scare me ever since I saw the Godfather II.

5. Flying scares me ever since I started working in the Aero-Space field.

4. Clowns scare me ever since I saw that picture of John Wayne Gacy dressed up as a clown…with all that fucked up lip-stick.

3.I still remember where I was when I heard about 9/11. I was peeing. It was on the radio on the back of the toilet. I was wearing sweat pants that had a white stripe down the side and a black t-shirt to compliment it. I ate Apple Jacks that day. I had a small cup of coffee…..with cream and two sugars. I bought a Wendy’s Jr. cheeseburger deluxe on my way to work that day. I called my mom and told her not to go shopping that day. I told her to just watch TV,…or a movie. A movie like the Sound Of Music or something. I remember telling her to stick a movie into the VCR….not to watch TV. That there was nothing on TV. Turn on a movie. Make sure it’s a movie. No TV.

2. I got two meatball sandwiches from Subway today. The price was $5.75 a piece. They only charged me ten dollars. I guess I made a little “bread’ on that transaction. (pardon the pun)

1. A gun WILL shoot without a Yoke,…or Crane screw in it.



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