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Category Archives: 2nd amendment

‘…Feelin’ like a cowboy,
and lookin’ like a slob…”

Livin’ In Hope
The Rutles

I hate to sound confused….but there’s all this talk about a new Civil War in America.

I have to ask…how would this all play out?…(if I may be so bold to question this.) The last Civil War was between the north and south. There were regions of conflict. If you went to the south, you’d have to exchange your currency….just like you have to do to go to London today.

Is it a war between antifa and the white nationalists?

I have to ask….who has the guns here?

300 billion rounds on one side and…umm…well,…in any event…how would this play out? Throwing bottles of pee from the other side?

It will not end well for one side and it will be quick.

(I need to know how to plan my vacation….that’s all. That’s why I’m asking.)

Methinks it will just be a fart in the wind for the snowflakes.

(I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to offend anyone by using that term…what term?….”snowflake”, of course…)

I don’t want to send anyone to their safe-space to play with Play-Doh as a result of this post.

I just wanna know how to plan my damn vacation!

(Sorry I swore…I didn’t mean to offend anyone by that….)

Anyway…

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“And the sign said “Long-haired freaky people need not apply,”
So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why,
He said, “You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you’ll do,”
So I took off my hat, I said “Imagine that. Huh! Me workin’ for you!”
Whoa-oh-oh!……”

I was toiling at my job today when the song, “Signs”, scrolled across the ol’ pod. It has been a standard for the counter-culture for as long as I can remember. The song has spanned generations and still gets radio play with great frequency.

Some things birthed by The Five Man Electrical Band are just born to stay, I guess.

Not a bad song, on the whole, but during the 3 or so minutes of the song, it actually gives a black eye to the counter-culture movement rather than praise it…as it was originally intended to do.

The irony of it all is really quite sobering if you think about it.

My witness to the song is neither to the right or the left. I actually, truth be told, swing to the conservative end of the spectrum whilst doing my best to look like a lefty of the old guard. I guess what I mean is that I look like a hippy, yet tend to vote non-Democrat….and it hasn’t always been that way either. There was a time I was truly a Democrat. I understand where they’re comin’ from, man.

The thing about this song is found in it’s human-ness. It’s just the typical selfish attitude of, “I want what I want when I want it”. We all fall victim to that once in a while,…but when it’s enhanced and condensed into a three minute song, there’s just something about those lyrics that can truly grate on a person’s nerves.

Here’s what I mean.

We take this first set of lyrics:

“And the sign said “Long-haired freaky people need not apply,”
So, I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why,
He said, “You look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you’ll do,”
So I took off my hat, I said “Imagine that. Huh! Me workin’ for you!”
Whoa-oh-oh!

Granted, this young man is angry for some reason. Since the song starts there, we do not know the cause of his anger. You can even hear it in his voice when he starts singing. He already has a chip on his shoulder.

We can garner, due to his piqued fury, that the sign he read may have been paraphrased due to his anger. But we don’t know this, do we? It could have very well said, “Clean-cut gentlemen wanted for food preparation. Must wear hair-net. Interested applicants please apply inside. Thank You.”

If he were to truly put up a sign that said, “Long-haired freaky people need not apply,”, he would probably have a law suit levied against him by the ACLU,….which could be pretty pricey when it comes to court costs. Small business owners tend to know when to pick their battles in cases of possible legal interjection and potential legal injunctions.

Be that as it may, because of his attitude, he felt he had to play some shenanigans with the shop owner or restauranteur who kindly complimented him on his appearance and offered him a job so he could EARN some money….but then the young man decided hat the best course was to deride and ridicule the person who was offering him gainful employment.

Moving on….

“And the sign said anybody caught trespassin’ would be shot on sight,
So I jumped on the fence and-a yelled at the house,
“Hey! What gives you the right?,
To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in,
If God was here he’d tell you to your face, Man, you’re some kinda sinner!….”

Now, here our hero decides that it’s a dashed good idea to provoke home-owners by testing the limits as to how far he can go before the owner of the property actually pulls a gun and shoots him because he feels threatened by him. It becomes a wanton disregard to his own safety to do this because the right to bear arms is very clear in matters of self-defense. People have a right to protect themselves from unstable people who tread onto and into their property uninvited. There are trespassing laws, young man. They are on the books and have been for a very, very long time. Even in 2014, people can own property,…and have the right to protect that property and the souls that dwell on that property.

As a side note, the declaration about whether or not God is here shows a true lack of theological knowledge. To say “if” means you’re not too sure. If you invoke the name of God and brazenly presume to know what He would say in this particular given instance, then that means you have a simple, cursory understanding of who He is,…and your presumption that you can actually anticipate what He would say truly makes you seemingly above God….or greater than. That is called, “Mania” my friend. They have medication for that now.

Moving on,…

“Now, hey you, mister, can’t you read?
You’ve got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat,
You can’t even watch, no you can’t eat,
You ain’t supposed to be here,
The sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside….
Ugh!….”

Here we get into your philosophy, young man. In those five lines uttered, you have turned the looking glass upon yourself. In your reckless abandon of fury, you have decided that any and all rules and regulations are simply fallow and unjust because it doesn’t include your unblemished and regimented train of thought. Some places, if you don’t have a tie, they give you one free of charge! As far as membership cards go, I can’t go to the local BJ’s because I never applied for a card. If I were to take the time to do so, I would be admitted. I just don’t know what I would do with that much Ramen or spaghetti sauce, that’s all. I choose not to get a card,…but I can if I so desire. It takes all of five minutes. You have much more than five minutes available,….you just turned down a job….

Moving on,…

“And the sign said, “Everybody welcome. Come in, kneel down and pray,”
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all,
I didn’t have a penny to pay,
So I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign,
I said, “Thank you, Lord, for thinkin’ ’bout me. I’m alive and doin’ fine.”
Wooo!…..”

And here is where we come full circle, my job-less friend. Need I remind you that not more than 2 minutes ago, you were offered gainful employment which you turned down with no chance of another interview. That’s why you didn’t have a penny to pay,….which, theologically speaking, you are not paying anything. You are tithing. That is supposed to be 10% of your total income. Now, say, if you found ten dollars in the street, you would be obliged to “tithe” one dollar,….and your actions in that would then be multiplied. It is the only area in which God says we can “test” Him. But you already know that since you know what God is gonna say before He says it, correct?

So,…you see, my loud-mouthed friend,…..that commie crap only goes so far. We are not communist yet,…..close, but not yet. My advice to you is to go back to school, get a degree and become a part of society. The way you live is way too hard and way too in the dark. I applaud you for your determination to stick to your principals, but they are doing you more harm than good.

You can still be a rebel. There’s no problem there. You can smart off to the boss when you have seniority. Just focus a bit. Gain some footing,…but this moving around ten times in a three minute song just ain’t gonna pay off, man. Tom Hayden and Abbie Hoffman had to pay their dues to become credible.

You should too.

Anyway,…

“And no one knows a thing about my life,
I can come and go as I please,
And if I want to, I can stay,
Oh, or if I want to, I can leave,
Nobody knows me, Nobody knows me,
Nobody knows me Oh, oh…”


Morrisey
Jack the Ripper

Here are the top ten things I learned this week:

10. They still haven’t found that plane. Between the DHS, the TSA, the NSA,….they still couldn’t find that plane. CNN seems to think it was sucked up by a black hole apparently. (CNN, if you have nothing constructive to say, just keep your big yap shut, ok? We know you’re hurting in the ratings, but don’t run at the mouth, ok?) Tell you what,…I’ll give them my phone. It can tell me exactly where I am on the planet. It can also tell me exactly where I need to go on the planet. It’s theirs….if it means the people are still alive and sitting in a hangar somewhere,….which they probably are. Cripes, almighty,….losers lose a plane. Unbelievable. It’s tonnage!!! TONNAGE!!!!

9.I have to make a recipe for a vegan tomorrow. I’m scared. I have never heard of the ingredients. Quinoa, nori, ferro, lentils. This frightens me. I might have to serve the vegan cucumbers and tomatoes if this doesn’t pan out. I’m gonna need nerves of steel to pull this off. i can just hear the theme song for Mission Impossible playing while I make it.

8. Lizzie Borden was one cold woman. She had the fortitude to actually lay that axe into her old man’s head. I had to go see her a few years ago. She was nice. We played War. I won. We talked a bit….

7. It was suggested that I shave my beard today. My response?….”That would uncover a whole lot of ugly”.

6. The rig. It’s all plugged in and it works.

yeah, baby.

image

5. I remain the last person in my neighborhood who has yet to cut his grass. I guess that makes me the official hill-billy for the next year,….again.

4. I got rid of my seat covers that were emblazoned with “The Who”. It was just time. They looked stupid. What am I? Ten?

3. I cleaned my car out and finally found my CD, ‘Annie Lennox’s Greatest Hits”….It’s about time.

2. Jack the Ripper was a bad-ass. What a name, huh? “Jack the Ripper”. That’s like the genius of naming a band, “The Clash”.

1. Think I’ll uncover a “whole lot of ugly” today.

Anyway,…