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Category Archives: big business

“She keeps Moet et Chandon
In her pretty cabinet
‘Let them eat cake’, she says,
Just like Marie Antoinette.
A built-in remedy,
For Kruschev and Kennedy,
At anytime an invitation
You can’t decline…”

QUEEN
KILLER QUEEN

I was standing in the checkout line today. I was buying some Chuckles and milk. I had to be at work at three. It was two forty-five. The woman in front of me was taking her good sweet time producing the payment for her choices.

I looked down at a refridgerated case next to the cashier line.

I saw some bottles that were emblazoned with the words: “Moet et Chandon”.

All of a sudden, finger-snaps started playing my head.

Sonofabitch. That’s what Freddie Mercury was singing about the whole time! I heard the words a million times before but couldn’t understand them.

I never knew what the hell he was saying!

Moet et Chandon!….Champagne!…of course!!

$53 bucks a bottle!….shuhh.

Just gimme my Chuckles and milk.

…and you learn something new everyday, don’t ya?

Moet et Chandon.

Who knew?

Anyway….

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“Well, I guess I should confess that I am starting to get old,
All the latest music fads all passed me by and left me cold,
All the kids are talking slang I won’t pretend to understand,
All my friends are getting married, mortgages and pension plans,
And it’s obvious my angry adolescent days are done,
And I’m happy and I’m settled in the person I’ve become,
But that doesn’t mean I’m settled up and sitting out the game,
Time may change a lot but some things may stay the same,….


Frank Turner
Photosynthesis

Ya know,..when you go to a resale shop, you kinda expect that the wares they sell will be in some sort of systematic order. When it’s not, it’s nothing more than a garage sale, isn’t it?

When the lighting is sub-par, it makes you feel like you’re bein’ cheated. I hate that crap.

Why is it that most of the furniture smells pretty moldy. You wanna sell me something? Make sure that it doesn’t smell bad, OK? It ain’t that hard. There’s this little thing called “Febreeze”. Spray it a few times a week. Is that that hard?

Ya know,….I really think the French Connection is the greatest movie ever made Why do I think that? Who cares? Do you care? I don’t freakin’ care. It’s just a damn good movie. What? Do I have to explain myself?

Good night.

Just so ticked off today.

Anyway,….

“Everyone’s a dreamer,
Everybody’s a star,…”


The Kinks
Celluloid Heroes

Just by that title, I know you want to click the x and go to bed. I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you at all. Hear me out, however.

The thing is, where did this freak come from? Why is she considered to have talent? Is it because of Hannah Montana? Is it because her father did Achy-Breaky Heart?

I have nothing bad to say about Miley. I don’t have anything bad to say about Billy Ray. They seemed like a normal family,…until,…you know,…that whole tongue thing. The tongue thing kinda fucked me up for a while. I mean, she’s a pop music star, right? What was with the tongue? It struck me as really demented that she would actually go out there and show the world her thrush.

It just didn’t make any sense.

Then there was that whole deal where her whitey-tighties were making her butt look less than desirable. Like they were put on wrong or something.

I guess the thing is,…I don’t think enough about Miley to like her or dislike her. I just gotta wonder why she is here and what she has to offer that I seem to be missing, that’s all. It’s not a “hater” thing,….

It’s a “what-am-I-missing” thing.

I mean, if she was as good looking as Brittany Spears, I might find a certain erotic credibility with her.

But she’s not. Not even close.

She almost looks like Justin Bieber.

Anyway,…